Throughout my entire childhood my mother was always touching my friends. Not in a weird way, but in a very motherly way: a warm embrace, brushing someone’s shoulder when they first met, she would even rest her head on people, very content, always smiling. I wanted to punch her. One day I was yelling at her, “MOM, don’t touch my friends or anyone else. Ever!!!” She just smiled and said, “Ben some people go through the whole day never being touched by another human being. This is not ok. We all need contact with others. We need to feel safe and loved” Of course in my adolescent mind everything was related to sex and thus I probably responded, “No one cares. It’s weird. Stop it!”
Keep in mind I grew up in the top 5 most murderous cities in America. For most of my friends things were far from regular at home. Shootings, guns, drugs, robberies, and the objectification of women were seen and talked about on a daily maybe even hourly basis. But it didn’t matter who it was, everybody got the same treatment from my mother, whether it be her homosexual composer friends or my boy Lavantay who was deathly afraid of cats and never had pancakes.
How important is touch?
It is so pivotal that an infant who is deprived of human touch is unlikely to survive.
I think about how this practice has come full circle, the gift my mother gave all of us, and how courageous she was to constantly show love and openness in an environment that was the anything but.
At this point you be thinking good story bro, but what does this have to do with the gym?
As a Strength Coach/Personal Trainer, whatever the hell you want to call me, I touch my clients every time they walk on the rubber. The gym may be some people’s only social outreach. There only place to let go. The gym must be a place where people feel motivated, but also safe. Both Aaron and I have multiple soft tissue certifications so touch is a tool we must use to heal, to calm, to relate, and to connect with our clients.
If you are reading this you probably go to a gym, you also hopefully see others throughout the day. You may not have some fancy letters after your name, it doesn’t matter you are human. You can shake someone’s hand and grab their shoulder when you meet. You can put your hand on someone’s back and tell them they did well. You can be the brightest spot in someone’s day or you can’t. It’s up to you.
By: Ben House
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